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AFFECTS IN MY LIFE BEHIND PRISON WALLS

MY LIFE AS AN INMATE HAS HAD A GREAT AFFECT ON MY LIFE. I HAVE BEEN INCARCERATED SINCE 8/14/98 SENTENCED TO THE CALIFORNIA YOUTH AUTHORITY.

MY LIFE HAS MADE A CHANGE PHYSICALLY. SINCE BEING ONLY 17 AND SENT TO SERVE A TERM OF 3 YEAR'S 10 MONTH'S, I'VE MATURED INTO A YOUNG MAN, GROWING TALLER A CHANGING MY WAYS OF THINKING. SINCE BEING INVOLVED IN GANG'S I'VE ALSO HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH. AFTER GIVEN 9 MONTH'S TO DO BEFORE BEING ELIGABLE FOR PAROLE. I DECIDED TO GANG BANG AND GOT INVOLVED WITH GANG RELATED RIOT'S, DUE TO MY VIOLENT MISCONDUCT, I STARTED TO RECEIVE TIME, ADD'S, RECEIVE 90 MORE DAY'S FOR ONE ON ONE FIGHTS, 6 MONTH'S FOR RIOTS, WHICH INVOLVES 10 TO 20 MEN FIGHTING OR MORE.

AFTER BEING TRANSFERED I WAS SENT TO PRESTON CORRECTIONAL FACILITY, THE GANG'S GOT WORSE, BEING SET ON A HALL ALONE WITH 18 RIVAL'S, I WAS RUSHED, JUMPED, HIT ACROSS THE FACE WITH A LOCK. ME WANTING TO BE A HARD CORE GANGSTER, I GOT MY RUN BACK'S SMASHING PEOPLE WITH LOCK'S, I HAD GOTTEN JUMPED, ME BEING ALONE WITH NO HOMIES, THOUGH I EXPECTED THAT.

SOON I WAS KICKED OUT OF PRESTON SENT TO CHADERJIAN. CHADERJIAN WAS MORE VIOLENT, WHERE WEAPON'S WERE INVOLVED IN ALL RIOTS, SO I HAD TO STAND STRONG AVOIDING FROM BEING STABBED OR SLICED WITH A RAZOR, AFTER BEING INVOLVED IN MORE VIOLENCE I WAS SENT TO Y.T.S. HERMAN G. STARK DOWN SOUTH IN CHINO CALIFORNIA.

ONCE I COMPLETED A 6 MONTH LOCK UP PROGRAM I WAS SENT BACK TO CHADERJIAN, ON MY WAY TO CHAD, I WAS IN AN ARGUMENT WITH ANOTHER INMATE. SOON I CAME OUT IN CONTACT WERE HE HAD RUSHED ME AND I PULLED OUT A RAZOR CUTTING HIM ACROSS HIS FACE, NOSE, AND EAR AND THEN GIVEN 7 MORE YEARS IN THE STATE PRISON, WHERE I'M RESIDING NOW.

THIS HAS EFFECTED ME TO A POINT WERE AT TIME'S I BECOME MENTALLY DEPRESSED, HURT AND NOT A BIT OF LOVE. I HAVE EFFECTED MY FAMILY CAUSING PAIN TO THOSE WHO LOVE ME AND THE MOST IMPORTANT MY MOTHER. I ONLY BROUGHT THIS PAIN UPON MYSELF I CAN'T BLAME NO ONE, I CHOOSE TO GANG BANG KNOWING MY CHOICES, WOULD ONLY HURT.

THESE AFFECTS, I DEAL WITH ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS, I NEED TO WATCH MY BACK 24/7. THIS IS A SHORT SEGMENT OF MY LIFE. THINKING I COULD OUT BEAT THE SYSTEM, THE SYSTEM HAS PUT A CLAIM ON MY LIFE AND I CAN NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BUT LIVE EACH DAY, AND SURVIVE. ONCE YOU CHOOSE TO INVOLVE YOURSELF INTO SUCH CRIMES AND THINKING THAT IT COULD CHANGE, WELL, YOU WILL HAVE TO WANT TO CHANGE, AS I FACE THAT, TODAY.

AN INMATE, C.A.G. 2002