BY MIKE RAMEY

Three quick things off of this month’s memo, right from the outset.  First, our economy is in DEPRESSION not RECESSION.  I make this statement to prepare the brotherhood for the ugly truth, rather than to believe the beautiful lie that the economy is going to get ‘better’ in one or two cycles.  Second, to be counted a man of quality, you have to learn how to toughen up in hard times!  ‘Males’ who spend more time worrying about where their next video game is coming from won’t survive in the arena of economic warfare.

Can I get an AMEN from the sisters who ‘skeet’ my column every month?

Lastly, learn how to share the joy of living by simply giving above and beyond every once in a while.  Brothers, it is truly good for the soul, and a great witness as to where (and in whom) you have your treasure stored.

WAIT: DID YOU SAY ‘TOUGHEN UP’?

Oh, yes I did!

It seems that more than a few brothers have become feminized and are hooked on their feelings–even some who claim the mantle of Christ!  Men, we need to remember what natural cruelness the Master suffered BEFORE He got to the cross, in order to reap the blessings of life eternal, DURING a time of national hardship under the Roman occupation.

Men are built to RISE in tough times.

Bookmark this one for the feminists and ‘wishy-washy’ males in the house:  “Where a nation stops listening to upright men, a roadway into Hell is paved–and opened–for immediate use.  Until righteous men are heeded in the public square, the national suffering CONTINUES!”

And the righteous brothers said: AMEN!

The late Reggie White’s 1996 book: “In The Trenches: The Autobiography” does a great job in the armor restoration department.  The ‘Minister Of Defense’ pens several lines among a few dozen that stand out for the brotherhood this month:  “Trench warfare is rugged and dirty, but wars are won in the trenches…It isn’t always fair.  It isn‘t always just.  Sometimes you get punched, you get held, you get clipped from behind–and you just have to get back on your feet, bind up your wounds, line up in the trenches, and do it all over again.”

White took risks on and off the field.  I’ll never forget his public stand against Homosexuality.  White caught a lot of ‘media flack’ for his views.  But he went to his grave with the one award that many ‘feminized’ male members of the mainstream and entertainment media WISHED they could claim:  The mantle of manhood.

Too many men have been ‘hoodwinked’ into believing that without an ‘earthly’ father in their lives, there is no venue for interacting with upright men.  Balderdash!  There are brothers who are doing the right thing everyday, and are willing to teach you what you need to know for the journey.  You don’t need a ‘Big Brothers’ program to heed the advice of an older man who is right in front of you explaining why you don’t dance in the middle of the street during rush hour!

Want more out of your life, brothers?  Listen to older, upright men!  If you don’t, you may be missing out on a tremendous blessing because of your lack of humility.  In the words of one African proverb:  “An old lion is NOT old–by accident!”

THE TIP CONNECTION:

On my voyage to manhood I learned the joys of being a good tipper, from hanging out with my own father.  My Dad made it plain:  “If you WANT good service, you have to be WILLING to pay for it!”  That advice has served me well over the years.  From the boys who come by to shovel my walk to my barber, our household is known for not being ashamed of tipping for good service.

No matter how bad times may get, the lesson is worth learning and sharing.

A teacher friend of mine told me about a how she passed the lesson on to some of her students during a field trip.  She rebuked a group of them for not leaving a tip for the waitress after they ran up a healthy tab.  Not only did she leave a good tip FOR them, she put EACH of them on the hook to pay her back by the end of the week–or she would be calling each of their parents about their ‘restaurant transgression’.

Cheap parents breed cheap teens.  This is NOT a good quality to instill in your children as they go out to make their way in the world. Some time or another they will be working in a job where tipping makes the difference between a good paycheck and a mediocre one.

AND…ONE PLACE YOU DON’T:

Tipping brings out the best in workers and employees.  Tipping also gives an indication as to the quality of man (or woman) one may be attracted to for a potential relationship.  Brothers, I’ll make it plain:  “If she’s CHEAP, head down the STREET!”

Tipping–going above and beyond what is expected–is a great witness of your faith in God.  How one can be a bad tipper and THEN want to leave a gospel tract for a waiter or waitress is beyond me.  Your witness goes as far as your ability to open your wallet.

And the restaurant workers said: AMEN!

I’ll catch some ‘hate mail’ on this next point, but I’ll ‘say on’ regardless.

There is one place that tipping is NOT allowed–in God’s church!

God gives those who are His the power to get wealth.  The Tithe (10 percent of your weekly earnings before taxes) is the Christian’s way of further public identification with the cause of Christ.  Salvation is THE way.  Baptism is next.  However, if the Lord truly has YOU, your WALLET is also SANCTIFIED!  Let the naysayers and excuse mongers stay BROKE! As men will stay away from cheap men, God WILL stay away from non-Tithers…including Pastors who talk one way, and give LESS than their best!

RAMEY is the Pastor of The Forward Church, Indianapolis, Indiana, and is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE.  This syndicated column appears on fine websites and gracious blogs around the world.  To correspond, email to him at manhoodline@yahoo.com.  © 2010 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.

“A Ton Of Prayer Will Never Produce What An Ounce Of Obedience Will!”
–Ed Cole, “The Potential Principle”

The New Untouchables

Resources are everywhere, self-help, experts and assistance. Whatever you need there’s someone there to help…well that is to say that almost every need has a resource. The one glaring omission seems to be those resources to help gang members move away from the life.

We see the glamorous initiatives to “stamp out gangs”, there’s “wars on gangs” and politicians making noises but when it comes to providing real support to allow people to re-build their lives there are very few resources. What few there are tend to be church organizations working in their communities and they make a difference but as far as a national co-ordinated approach there appears to be nothing. The need for a national organization is crucial. Whether this would be a single organization or a network of separate organizations makes little difference. What counts is the opportunity exists for those wanting to leave gangs to be provided the opportunity to move away from their communities and gang affiliations if that’s what they desire.

Now of course this is not the whole solution the person wanting out has work to do. Channelview one of our team puts it like this:

“Change your life. Change the way you dress, so you don’t look like a banger. Change the way you act — you may not realize it, but to some extent you act, and react, like a banger. In short, change everything that might make someone think you are a banger. They will stop associating you with gangs, and the gang problems will leave you alone.

Many people think that just by moving somewhere different, they can get away. But, without realizing it, they take with themselves the same attitude, dress and mannerisms that let others know they are gang-affiliated. So, even though they are trying to avoid trouble, trouble finds them.

A friend of mine was a banger on the northwest side of [a major American city]. He moved to the south side, deep in a rival gang’s country. Nobody knew him in the new hood, and his homies from the old hood wouldn’t go to that part of town. He changed the way he dressed, talked, acted. He started going to church, got married. Today, he’s a devout Christian, happily married with kids, his wife has a nice job, he’s going to college, and his job as a security guard allows him to study on the clock. Now he can kind of joke about his past.

Get with Jesus, and ask Jesus to show you the way. Jesus will be happy to show you how to get out of trouble, because He hung on a cross exactly to get you out of trouble.”

So beyond suggesting we need a national resource we have strayed into the politically incorrect area of inviting Jesus in to resolve the problem. Einstein suggested that a problem cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created it. The number of gang members who are down with Jesus and have experienced transformation and healing in their lives are so numerous as to provide definitive evidence that “a life without Christ is a life that’s not fixed.”

The beauty of the involvement of Christ is that those ex-Gs who are saved then return to minister in those areas where gangs are prevalent and in contrast to suited politicians or college educated “experts” these ex-Gs have been there, know the reality of the streets and are able to speak to those still involved in a way that gains respect and achieves results.

The lack of resources addressing helping gang members suggests they are the “New Untouchables”. For those who may not be familiar with the term, in Indian society the untouchables number around 160 million people and by their birth at this level of society they are considered impure, unclean and almost inhuman. To some extent gang members are considered in the same way. They are a “menace to society” a “threat” but we are missing the point. We are grouping individuals together in a way that strips them of humanity and identity and places them in a faceless group: “Gang Member”. This is as convenient as it is dismissive. It’s works for statistics but it doesn’t work for seeing the pain, heartache and loss for individual gang members. We don’t see the longing for change or a better life when we look at a statistic, we just see numbers.
Part of the reason for this is that it is very hard to look into the eyes of pain. When we see suffering we are duty bound to relieve it. If we don’t see the individual we don’t have to deal with that. The uncomfortable truth is not visible and hey presto there’s no problem. It’s then an issue that can be addressed by strong arm legislation.

How long can we let this continue? From a moral and societal viewpoint addressing the problem should not wait a moment longer. If we are being selfish about it, providing resources to help people out of gangs will reduce crime, improve neighborhoods and give hope to kids. If we care about the problem and see the day to day suffering we cannot stand by without trying to help.

It takes strength to be gentle and kind. We don’t need a “war on gangs” we need to show people involved with gangs that there are alternatives, that there are people that care and are there to help. Suppressing a problem is ineffective. It increases pressure, it does not resolve the underlying issues, it does not reduce gang membership. It promotes a siege mentality that proves to be the ideal recruiting ground for gang membership and provides a steady stream of new recruits.

Gang members feel a sense of isolation. For many that’s the reason they join: no family, no support network. The lack of support mechanisms that are caring and offer positive alternatives simply re-enforces this feeling.

While starting at the grass roots will be most impacting and involving ex-gang members the most productive as always it comes down to resources. Will the politicians have the courage and foresight to seek resources for groups that have no economic power, are not a potent or identifiable voter group and who society as a whole deems undesirable? Thus far it would appear not but as gang membership spreads beyond its inner city confines into white neighborhoods and country towns the problem will then present itself as a clear and present issue that will demand attention from voters that do possess the necessary political clout. Bu legislating under pressure rarely produces the best results.

So you’re reading this, maybe you’re in the media, maybe you have a voice, maybe you’re even involved in the political process. It’s time to look beyond the angle of a story, your career and getting re-elected and face a problem that is growing exponentially while at the same time seemingly attracting fewer and fewer resources. It’s time to examine an issue in a way that identifies its victims, and yes in many ways gang members are victims, as people and not statistics. What are you going to do?

We need a national network of organizations aimed at showing love to gang members, resourcing their desire to change and not trying to crush them in their current situation, which for many is borne out of poverty of choice. The death toll is staggering, and the costs to the judicial and penal system huge. The old saying “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” is so instructive in this instance but the problem is “the new untouchables” as represented by gang members are not visible to much of the population, not a “worthy” or vocal special interest group, not consolidated into a unified bloc and frankly invoke fear and misunderstanding when viewed as a whole.

People are dying everyday. Can we save just one? And then another? Are we crying in the wilderness? Are you going to listen to the voice of the millions suffering? Write your politicians. Write news stories about the bare truth. Support local organizations doing meaningful work in your communities. And next time you see someone who you think may be gang affiliated show them a little love. Don’t turn your eyes away. Don’t pretend they don’t exist. Don’t treat them like “The New Untouchables.”

In his column this week. Bro Mike takes a look at Sagging Pants:

MEMO: THE RAMEY RULE
BY MIKE RAMEY

I wanted to give a solid ‘shout out’ to those warriors who have volunteered to contend with young men on a regular basis about their sagging pants.  Of course, I am still amazed of the longevity of this rather ‘brief’ matter–but I digress!

I’ve seen some rather interesting battles and discussions between adults and teens about the need for keep pants pulled up to regulation level.  I’ve heard of adults shouting at teens, and teens shouting back at adults over ‘my rights.’  I’ve read a variety of columns about school dress codes and why students–even at the college level–need to ‘adult up’ with proper dressing habits.  As I sat down to pen my column this month, I found the issue raging in my neck of the woods.  Several adults and teens have wound up in trouble with the law over adults laying down the rules and teens rebelling against them–sometimes to the point of exchanging words and punches.

This ought not to be.

IT STARTS AT HOME:

The old adage is true:  If the home will not teach, society can not compensate.

Teens–by nature–are slippery and rebellious.  Many of us who are adults now were teens not that long ago.  I can remember my own times of rebellion–and how my parents responded to them.  Sometimes with a talking to; sometimes with punishment, and sometimes with a firm administration of the board of education to the seat of knowledge.  I–and others–learned a healthy, godly fear of dad and mom.

And all the parents said: AMEN!

Sure, the times ‘may’ be different.  Let’s be honest!  How many of us have come across ‘trifling’ parents? They DO exist and get lots of airplay and ink.  You’ve seen them on TV shows from Judge Judy to Jerry Springer!  Parents who seem to have been ‘frozen’ in their very own rebellious streaks from their adolescent years–with frozen brains to match.

The results are STILL the same if a minority of the parents do NOT teach or when a minority of teens will NOT listen!  The twin brothers of chaos and rebellion rule, firmly replacing opportunities for the direct education and advancement of our children.

Sad.  Just truly S-A-D.

I recall one time during my stint as a probation officer. A female parent came to the juvenile court dressed like a stripper heading for work.  Needless to say, the bailiffs would not let her into court on her child’s case…because of the court’s dress code.

And…we wonder where the children get it from?

STEREOTYPES–AND TRUTH:

Make no mistake about it.  The pants sagging issue–and its attempt at justification–are firmly rooted in rebellion.  Saggers are proud that they ‘sag’–but don’t want to face the consequences of doing it ‘their way’.  Unfortunately, we live in an era where consequences are expected to be ‘brushed’ off to the side without comment from the society at large.  Commit a crime, and have a hundred letters and videos to ‘explain’ your right to harm someone else.  Commit adultery and go off to make your next movie.  Carry a few guns into a sporting venue and get shocked by being suspended from your pro team.

From a biblical perspective, let me ‘clue’ the brotherhood to a reality:  The consequences of rebellion ‘may’ be delayed, but are seldom denied.  God’s judgments may be slow in coming, but pack a punch when they arrive!  In truth, if one does NOT learn the lessons of being a responsible child at home–whether it’s headed by two-parents, one parent, or a loving guardian–you’ll be reduced to being judged as a stereotype by the society at large.

Society–like teenage friends–can be CRUEL in their label placement!

Brothers, if you sag, you fit the stereotype.  Fair is fair; but REAL is REAL!  In most of our world today, stereotypes represent reality.  It’s not ONLY how ‘you are seen’, but how you are ‘perceived’ WHILE you are being seen!  As a father myself from the old school, rest assured that a sagger may not make it to my tree lawn–let alone my porch–if he dares to date my daughter!

THE SOLUTION?  THE RAMEY RULE!

For all you saggers out there who are getting upset at me blasting away with this column, I issue the following invitation.  Call it a ‘public challenge’ to test my writing.  Go to any local company or job fair with your ‘sag wear’ and ask for a job application and/or an interview.  If the people around you don’t move away from you in rapid fashion, you will ‘get the hint’ that your wardrobe is not appropriate from the employers! They will GLADLY find any excuse to have you file your application–by mail!

Here is my solution to the sagging problem.  I call it the ‘Ramey Rule’.  It operates on the simple principle that the best way to get to the ‘heart’ of a sagger is to get him to turn his brain on! Yelling does not work.  Drive-by ‘orders’ from adults to ‘pull up’ one’s pants does not work.  Dress codes and sanctions have limited impact (as sagging has become not only a ‘fashion statement’ but the flag of youth).  How to get their attention?  Change your tactics!  Couple wisdom of economic reality with the truths of stereotyping in the application of the ‘Ramey Rule’ which is spoken as follows:  “The LOWER the pants, the LOWER the IQ is perceived to BE!”

Think about it!  Saggers do NOT work for law firms, Black Enterprise Magazine, IBM, Microsoft, your local school corporation or Beatrice Foods.  Saggers DO work for strip mall mobile phone stores and hip-hop head shops.  Saggers may ‘start out’ with good grades, but slovenly and sloppy will eventually ‘overtake’ their academic progress.  Saggers won’t be able to ask if I want ‘fries with that’, as many fast food chains have a nasty way of dealing with sloppy employees.

Just keep reminding saggers of these future facts, and you will see a gradual rise–at least during daylight hours–of pants back to where they should be.  IF they don’t appreciate your comments, saggers will soon experience the consequences of rebellion.

It’s called ‘Long Term Unemployment’!

RAMEY is the Pastor of The Forward Church, Indianapolis, Indiana. THE MANHOOD LINE appears on fine websites and gracious blogs around the world.  To correspond, email  manhoodline@yahoo.com.  © 2010 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.

This shortlist from Bro Mike

THE SHORT LIST FOR PARENTS: GETTING YOUR CHILD/TEEN OUT OF GANG ACTIVITY
Parents: The Banger life is one that seeks to FILL a SPIRITUAL VOID. You must LEAD your family into a POSITIVE SPIRITUAL DIRECTION. Get to know Jesus Christ, study the KJV Bible and find a Bible-believing church with a godly, male Pastor.

Parents: YOU must PARENT! Tell them OUT means OUT! Can’t Even Have the appearance of being a Banger! Must Drop Colors & Even Gang Friends. No Bangers around your home! IF they won’t comply? THEY LEAVE and YOU change the LOCKS!

This is NOT going to be a battle won in a day. Parents MUST get involved IF juveniles are in gang activity! IF teen is on probation/parole TURN THEM IN! Let cops search their room! Parents: It’s either inconvenience now…or a funeral later!

Remind your teen that Perseverance and Determination ARE part of normal maturity and growth processes. It’s About DEEDS, NOT Just TALK! No one ‘whines’ and achieves anything!

A teen must SEE that their parent/guardian is LEADING with positive! Adults Need To Get Off The Rap/Hip Hop Prison Barge. Clean OUT your OWN house! No ‘side’ trips to the liquor store!

Reaffirm the truth of the ‘Education’ mantra. Clarify ‘Street’ vs. ‘Classroom’ Training. Remind Them That ‘Video Game’ Life Is NOT Real! Make them WORK for spending money via ‘chores’!

THE JOB HUNT GAME

BY MIKE RAMEY

One of my favorite movies is Spy Game staring Robert Redford and Brad Pitt. The most telling illustration for my column is the following slogan from the cover of the soundtrack: “It’s not how you play the GAME…it’s how the game plays YOU.”

Hunting for a job is rough, time-consuming and pressure-packed process. Nevertheless- -when you boil it down–the job hunting process is a game. How well you play it will determine your future economic success. Of course, this game has rules (like most games do), and the rules are meant to be obeyed whether they are written or unwritten. For this month, we’re going to hit on some of the basic rules and discuss how to play the game and keeping your sanity while job hunting in a tight, recession-laden economy.

You may be asking yourself why such an article is needed. Simply stated, it has to do with some of the business articles I’ve been reading–including articles by and about people of color who are out on the job hunt.

Brothers, this is NOT the first recession that this country has been through. News flash? It will NOT be the last recession, depression or job slowdown you will see. As the `old folks’ used to say: “Just keep on LIVING and LEARN your lessons WELL!”

BE YOURSELF THROUGOUT THE PROCESS:

IF some of those articles are to be believed, we are being told that it is `safer’ to `ditch’ your `cultural heritage’ (including non-traditional sounding names, group/association memberships, etc.) in order to `hide’ your skin color and win a job.

Balderdash! If I would have to deny or change who I am before applying for a job, would it be a job worth having? Thirty pieces of silver put Jesus Christ on the cross. Sacrificing your self worth and/or culture for a paycheck is the blast that won’t last.

One of the first rules of the job hunt game is to be who you are. The successful are happy with whom they are–and it translates to solid applications, great interviews and qualified employees. Furthermore, IF you are a Christian, you should not lie on a job application, in an interview or any business deal.

The important thing: BE you…and be the best you that you can be!

FAILURE CAN HAPPEN IN THE JOB HUNT GAME:

The next rule is simple and should never be underestimated: “Life is NOT fair!” There are people who are under qualified and overqualified who manage to get hired BEFORE you do, and it just does not seem fair. It may seem like the race course may be rigged…but just keep on doing what you know how to do. Check the job blogs, mail out the resumes, pound the pavement and contact companies that fit into your employment plan. As one wise sage told me years ago: “A setback is a set-up for a comeback!”

Failure is as much a part of life as are breathing, heartbreak, death and taxes.

A few years back, John C. Maxwell penned a book on the subject is failure. Entitled: “Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones For Success,” this work should become mandatory reading for job seekers. To paraphrase: Many of the successful people of today `failed’ in one (or more) ventures yesterday–and could fail tomorrow.

They won’t roll over and quit! The successful are persistent and KNOW that one must stay in the and play the game until you net that win!

Everyone at Gangstyle wishes you a joyful Christmas and a hopeful New Year.

Enjoy time with your family, stay safe and find a good Bible believing church where you can praise Jesus for what he has done throughout the year.

MEMO: FAILURE–AND CONSEQUENCES
BY MIKE RAMEY

When you get down to the problems in American education, forget needing more school days.  Throw out more money per student, as we are in a recession.  Yes, you can even chuck the race card.

It is simply called, “let ‘em fail!”

While working as a probation officer within my county juvenile court a few years back, I discovered this secret to success for those who don’t want to ‘get with the program.’  It was amazing how much ‘respect’ that teens had for education and their parents once they spent a few weeks or months in state custody, deprived of many of the comforts that they enjoyed.

Chores didn’t seem so ‘bad’ from the inside of a detention facility.  Getting to class on time (without razor wire and corrections officers) looked pretty good outside of a 12 x 12 cell.  Cruel?  Yep.  Real life?  It most certainly is!

Why should schools sugar coat what is coming down the track?  A lot of those who have decided to spend more of their school days suspended rather than successful need to get a wake up call a lot earlier than age 18.

Let them get a taste of failure–and its consequences.

Consequences for one’s actions is a sure fire way to bring one’s shortcomings up close and personal.  It also marks the need for a man or woman to make true and lasting change.

END NEGOTIATING WITH HINDERERS TO EDUCATION:

Any young person who will not participate in–or listen to any teacher in any classroom–is the SAME as a thief.  They are willing participants in the STEALING of future success from YOUR child or teen.

Hear me out on this point.  Many parents would like to see their child get into college, the military, or a great job.  Unfortunately, there are some parents content to let their teens fail.  It is up to parents–single or married–to train their children to LET the unrepentant trouble maker who may be in their classes to THROW AWAY their education.

Does this sound cruel?  On the contrary!  This is real life in action.

Actions have consequences.  Delaying those consequences is not fair to those who are living life on the right side of the street.  We need to stop allowing those who are fooling themselves with sub-standard performances that their antics are ‘acceptable’.

Want to see the education system get better?  Forget sending children to better schools.  Make schools better by letting students fail!  You will be amazed at how schools will improve their education services to all children, once they are freed from caring for academic ‘dead weight’.

SOCIAL PROMOTIONS HARM MORE THAN HELP:

The crushing reality in many corners of American education is that students are not allowed to fail.  You may call this a tragedy.  I call this a reaction by the education structure to the lack of discipline teachers are allowed to practice during the school day.  Social promotion is not dead, but repackaged.  Students don’t do their homework–and are allowed to pass.  Students don’t show up to class prepared–and are allowed to pass, even IF the teachers bring the pens, pencils, paper and study notes.  In some school districts, students don’t even have to dress and participate in gym classes–and are allowed to pass and even play on some sports teams!

Who gets it in the neck IF the hinderers are stopped along the way with disciplinary action, failing marks, or school suspensions because of tardies, poor attitudes or refusal to behave?

Why the teacher, of course!  How DARE they attempt to train all children to be successful members of society.

But, I digress.

Now, in my neck of the woods, we have a host of programs in existence for ‘at risk’ students.  All aimed at rescue, not reality. The latest one is a ‘Graduation Counselor.’  There may be something similar in your school district.  The ‘intent’ is to get hinderers to graduate from high school by having yet another adult offering ‘realistic’ advice.  IF a teen–going on adult–will not listen to their parents, teachers, etc., concerning the need to get an education in today’s economic downturn, what good will yet ‘another’ pair of lips do to ‘explain’ reality?

It’s time we let the hinderers in our schools find out the that the wake up alarm won’t be pleasant in an unemployment line for those who choose to hit the ‘snooze’ button on their brains, day after day.  A hungry stomach will surprisingly motivate a non-engaged mind.

RAMEY is the Pastor of The Forward Church, Indianapolis, Indiana. THE MANHOOD LINE appears on fine websites and gracious blogs around the world.  To correspond, email  manhoodline@yahoo.com.  © 2009 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.

I don’t know if you have seen this on our site…

For more information on donations please click here

But each year we try to fund a group of urban kids and get them to Young Life Summer camps. I went last year and it was life changing, ex Gs giving their lives to Christ and just enjoying the peace of the mountains and countryside.

If you’re looking to make a difference this year consider supporting Young Life thru the link above.

Happy Christmas!

This from Bro Mike…

Bottom Line?  If you want out…you need to make the moves.  Don’t trust your ‘friends’ to ‘let’ you out or advise you properly.  You are too valuable to Christ to stay IN a potentially BAD situation…More coming.  Bro Mike

THE SHORT LIST FOR TEENS:
GETTING OUT OF GANG ACTIVITY
Do You REALLY WANT Out?  OUT means OUT!  Can’t Even Have the appearance of being a Banger!  Must Drop Colors & Even Gang Friends.  If need be: Go to the police and tell on yourself!

The Banger life is one that seeks to FILL a SPIRITUAL VOID.  You AND your family must decide upon a POSITIVE SPIRITUAL DIRECTION. You NEED Jesus Christ & Membership In A Bible-believing Church, with a godly, male Pastor.

You MUST respect and involve your Parents!  Especially IF you are a Juvenile Involved In Gang Activity.  Number ONE Factor In Putting Wayward Teens In Check ARE Parents/Guardians, PERIOD!  Come CLEAN with them BEFORE the cops show up!

Understand:  Perseverance and Determination ARE part of normal maturity and growth processes.  It’s About DEEDS, NOT Just TALK!  DO!  Don’t Just TALK! You Take It ONE DAY AT A TIME!

What Are Your Entertainment Choices?  Just as one must ‘starve a fever to feed a cold’, you MUST ‘starve’ the negative by feeding the positive!  Get Off The Rap/Hip Hop & Thug Prison Barge!

What about your Education?  Pursue what you TRULY want to be when you grow up.  There IS a difference between ‘Street’ vs. ‘Classroom’ Training.  The ‘Video Game’ Life Is NOT Real!

BOTTOM LINE? ONCE you MAKE Choice, STICK WITH IT!

MEMO: OPERATION BAND OF GOLD
BY MIKE RAMEY

This month, we’re off on the ride of reality, brothers:  The subject of marriage!

For the life of me, I can not understand why churches, schools, government, and even the criminal justice system refuse to stress marriage FIRST and sex SECOND between a man and a woman!

The ‘I see it, I want it, I’ll take it’ mentality of the age continues to spawn new lows for the sake of sexual thrills.  Even those who have fought for ‘same sex marriages’ are amazed at how quickly homosexuals and lesbians are lining up for their ‘right to divorce’ so they can quickly move on to their next illicit relationship.

A REGULAR QUESTION FROM SOME OF THE YOUNG:

Teens have a way of piercing the veil of truth with their own honesty.  Every once in a while, I’ll get ‘that’ question from a male or female teen:

“Mr. Ramey…are YOU married?”

I’ll hold up my left hand and point to a rather large band of gold.

I’ll also answer in the affirmative.

Some of them seem both shocked, and glad.  At least–in their travels–they have met someone who values marriage to a wonderful woman.  Sure, this may be the second time around.  But this time, I got it right!  As Ray Charles said in the commercials: “I found the RIGHT one, Baby!  Uh-Huh!”

DROP TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE?  INCREASE OF SEXUAL MISERY:

With all of the electronic ‘ink’ that has been wasted on the ‘rise’ of gang crime, the ‘rise’ of youth unemployment, and the ‘rise’ of the dropout rate, one DOES NOT have to look too far to find a culprit:  The deliberate dropping of traditional marriage and raising stable families from the landscape.  MEN marry; THUGGS sag…and lag!

Check it: starlets are allowed to have ‘baby bumps’, multiple shack-pals and weekends with the thrill of their choice.  Recording artists make songs about how ‘tough’ and ‘street’ they are–then rush to court because their ‘live in’ has gotten into a fight with them (Rihanna and Chris).  Newspapers, magazines, TV shows and radio documentaries are dedicated to million-dollar weddings and billion-dollar divorce settlements.  On top of all this, the ‘public’ church is more concerned about social issues rather than biblical truth…in a day when truth is an endangered species.

Brothers, marriage is NOT what you see represented in the MSM.  Only by careful research of your OWN spirit, determination and drive will you know that you are ready for that commitment.  REAL men value three things:  The right to selection, the right to propose and the right to commit.

Do NOT fall for the ‘feminist lies’ that men don’t want to commit to women and it’s OK for women to ask men to marry them.  Do NOT fall for ridiculous MSM TV shows that show women ‘acting ugly’ on their wedding day, and it is acceptable!   If can be honest–and we usually are in THIS column on Men’s issues–there are MORE women running FROM marriage proposals these days than ever before.

As I wrap up this month’s column, I’ll bring you my ‘short list’ of points that you can freely use in order to determine IF she is the right one to marry.  Be warned, brothers.  If you are NOT prepared spiritually, economically, educationally, and don’t have a strong work ethic, do NOT even THINK about getting married.  Commitment lasts more than cute!

THE REVISED ‘RAMEY GREAT EIGHT’:

1.  DOES GOD HAVE HER?  Real simple question.  Sound New Testament principle, based upon Proverbs 31.  If you are a Christian and she is NOT, you can NOT tie the KNOT!  Marry outside of the Christian faith at your own RISK!

2.  HOW DOES SHE TREAT DAD?  Plenty of sisters have fathers with whom they regularly see and interact.  Observe how she treats Dad, and other males in her family.  Any hidden anger?  Is she still a tomboy at heart?   Do NOT ‘overlook’ this!

3.  WILL SHE TAKE YOUR NAME?  Would NOT want to be bothered with a sister who would not take my name.  No ‘hyphens’ allowed.  Any brother who ‘lets’ his future wife ‘decide’ whether or not she will take his last name is heading for a war that even the Taliban couldn’t win!

4.  WILL SHE FOLLOW YOUR LEAD?  Another sound question.  Pre-marital counseling is needed to bring this issue up and out on the table.  Men lead; women follow in marriage.  Anything with two heads is a FREAK!  When men do NOT lead, the family is a mess.  You are the five-star general, brothers; she is the four-star general once you marry.  Communicators and protectors ALWAYS last longer than dictators in a home.

5.  CAN YOUR WOMAN COOK?  In these tough times, a wife that can make preserves, do meals from scratch either in an oven or with the power off and knows how to turn hamburger into gourmet food is a godsend!  Especially in a recession.

6.  CAN YOUR WOMAN SHOP?  How she treats her money will show you how she will treat your money when it becomes ‘our’ money.  And…there is nothing wrong with separate bank accounts, especially in second marriages.  Second marriages CAN work IF you learn the lessons that caused the first one to go up in smoke.

7.  DOES SHE ONLY HAVE EYES FOR YOU?  More and more women get talked into dumber and dumber things by their female (and male) friends.  Don’t be fooled:  Pornography has become a problem among women, too!

8.  DOES SHE KNOW HOW TO DRESS?  A wife knows that she needs to be ‘covered up’!  Fashionable but not flirtatious to anyone but Y-O-U!  She is to dress for her husband; not to win approval from her ‘sistahfriends’ or family members.

Marriage is for a MAN and a WOMAN.  NOT for ‘baby daddies’ and ‘baby mammas–with drama!’.  Brothers, quit that thugg life!  Grow up, shape up, step up and M-A-R-R-Y!  Want a better woman, brothers?  BE a prepared and upright man!

RAMEY is the Pastor of The Forward Church, Indianapolis, Indiana, and is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE.  This syndicated column appears on fine websites and gracious blogs around the world.  To correspond, buzz an email to him at manhoodline@yahoo.com.  © 2009 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.