Mo Matik Crazy When I Sleep

At night when I try to sleep I go crazy in my head,
I ponder all my thoughts and what other people have said.
I think of the way the world works and why its not okay,
I wonder why people commit suicide and why they wouldnt want to stay.
But no person is sane, seriously perfect in the brain,
we all live with fears, doubts, regrets, and even shame.
Life is like a game except you never win or lose,
we go through the motions tryin to succeed with something to prove.
Trying to show people what you feel inside,
but never letting others in to see it from their side.
Thats why I understand there people who go crazy in their head,
I understand now why they cant sleep when they go to bed.

‘I’m a forty- three year old man who thought he was cool, when young with a strapp in his hand. Trying to always beat a rival gang. My mind was so corrupted with lies from so called friends? Voicing out ‘your our homie ese’ we got your back! when I choose to be in a gang fight,my homies? had all jumped the fence running away like cowards, I stood my ground and took a severe beating which resulted in two weeks of hospital treatment. Don’t believe those who say their your family and have your back, trust your true family who will always be there for you when your in need. Peer pressure can be avoided, stay away from negative influences and you will be okay. Words of encouragement by an OG ex-gang member. God bless!!!’Riose

I think of gangs as ‘The Big Bad Wolf!’  They’ll huff and puff and blow all over you.  However, more and more teens are building houses out of the bricks of Jesus Christ and HE is sheltering them as they walk away from gang life.  Here are some other lies that these devils tell about the ‘greatness’ of being in a gang.  Bro Mike

THE FIVE MYTHS–AND REALITIES

Myth: “I Can’t Leave The Gang…”
Truth: People Leave Gangs EVERYDAY Without Consequences.

Myth: “I Need The Gang For Friendship…”
Truth: Your Friendship Is Best Given To Upright People.

Myth: “I Need The Structure Of The Gang…”
Truth: Structure ALSO Comes From Being Involved At Church, Work, etc.

Myth: “I Am Nobody Without The Gang…”
Truth: You WERE Somebody–THAT’S Why They Recruited You!
You Have Forgotten WHO You ARE Because Of The Gang!

Myth: “They’ll Threaten To Kill Me If I Leave…”
Truth:  If Someone Is Threatening You…Better Reason To LEAVE!

He waz hardcore

The toughest thug you ever seen

sum say he was ruthless, careless. loveless

others say his heart was cold as stone

nobody ever seen him love

all they saw was his hate

they saw him kill

they saw him shoot

they saw him murder time and time again

but no one ever saw thru that

no one saw the other side

SUm said he could never love

SUm said he was better behind bars

sum said he would couldn’t feel no more

but no one ever took the time to look

beyond those tatted tears

One day that all changed

see he walked in and saw his gurl

ready to leave this world

but she wasn’t goin alone

She laid there in that hospital bed

ready to bring their baby into this world

yet the world was fightin every step of the way

the dr.s said there wasn’t much time

they would do everything they could do

the first time in his life

he felt his heart skip a beat

it took this to make him see

he could still feel love and pain

Even tho he looked the same

FOr the first time in his life

he walked away alone

He held that cross he always carried on his neck

he looked up and begged the man to not turn away now

“Lord… I kno i have been wrong. I kno the things i have done and have caused so much pain. But today lord i feel that pain. I see that hate.. I never meant to make those mistakes. I want to change… but pleaze lord. Don’t take them away….. ”

as he spoke those words..

the dr came to say…

they made it in time

and he had a new baby boy that day.

he followed the dr.

to see what made his life change.

he picked that angel up

and held him for the first time.

he looked him in his eyes

and a tear rolled down his face…

For the second time in his life….

he felt love and pain…..

and he still looked the same

Lil’mac

I AM FROM THE OLD SCHOOL. I STARTED “CRIPPIN’” WHEN I WAS A 7TH GRADER AT HENRY CLAY JR. HIGH SCHOOL IN SOUTH LOS ANGELES. THAT WAS IN 1978-79. I WAS HANGIN’ ROUND G’S SINCE I WAS YOUNGER THAN THAT. SO I AM REALLY FROM THE OLD SCHOOL.

I REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS NO C’S & B’S , JUST SETS THAT STOOD ALONE. THE CHAIN GANG , THE SLAUSONS , COMPTON PIRU , EAST- SIDE AND WEST- SIDE. IN MY HOOD WE USED TO SAY CUZZMOE OR BLOOD, IT DIDN’T MATTER. THEN ONE DAY IN 7TH GRADE ALL OF THE SUDDEN NIGGAS COULDN’T SAY BLOOD NO MORE. AND CUZZMOE TURNED INTO PLAIN CUZZ. AND NIGGAS COULDN’T WEAR RED NO MORE.

I SHOT MY FIRST ENEMY WHEN I WAS 13 YEARS OLD AND I DIDN’T LIKE IT ALL THAT MUCH. SO I “STOPPED” FULL TIME BANGIN’ BY THE TIME I WAS 14. I STAYED AFFILIATED BECAUSE I WAS “DOWN” FOR MY HOMIES DEFENSE. I
CAUGHT ALOT OF BEEF FROM SOME BECAUSE I WOULD FIGHT BUT WOULDN’T DO DRIVE- BYS. BUT MOST
RESPECTED MY CHOICE BECAUSE THEY KNEW I PUT IN MY WORK IF I HAD TO.

BUT THE WHOLE THING IS OVER. AIN’T NO MORE BANGIN’ FOR LOVE LIKE THAT. NOW THEY BANG SO THEY WON’T BE A VICTIM. I HAD TO STAND STRONG IN MY CHOICE, BUT THESE CATS TODAY IS WEAK. TRYING TO IMPRESS THEY ON-LOOKERS. BANGING FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.

AND WHEN I WAS THUGGIN’, SHOOTIN’ WAS THE LAST RESORT, NOW IT’S THE FIRST. THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO THEY SHOOT OR WHY, THEY JUST TRYING TO LOOK NUTTY TO THEMSELVES AND OTHERS. THAT IS SOME FAKE PUNK-ASS SHIT.

REAL BANGING IS DEAD AND GONE. IT PLAYED OUT IN ‘89. SO, ALL YOU WANNA-BE G’S NEED TO CHECK YOUR HEARTS AND FIND THE REAL YOU WHO YOUR MOMMA GAVE A GOOD NAME TO, AND PUT THE “TRADITION” AWAY.

IT IS ALL OVER MY NIGGAS, THE WAR IS A DRAW
] !!! BOTH SIDES LOSE . C-BOB .

You know, some of you may be reading my post and say who’s side are you on? Well to be honest with you Im on My side…Not the Law’s side, not the Gangster’s side. I know G’s, I know Cops…To me its kinda the same game. Good Guys/Bad Guys/ Cops and Robbers… We all played it growing up….

Some of us took sides when we got older, some of us went one way some the other way…..I went the wrong way. But in my eyes at that time It was the “ONLY” way…. For the ones who has to choose this life to live I accept it more, than for those “wannabe’s,” who choose this lifestyle due to it looks or sounds fun… For some its the only way of survival, but yet their are better options at times….Church’s, school activity etc…Sometimes I sit back and think of things I done, GOOD and BAD and you know. I dont regret anything I done…

Outside of hurting someone unecassary, at that time it was either him or me…..I look back and see things, I should of not done. Things I could of done but didnt do….My life was really messed up…But its made me a stronger person….Ironically, I was just asked earlier today by a young teen cause he seen my “pitchfork/6 point” on my right
arm and said are you a “G”… I answered and replied.. I used to run with the GD set..But I realized it was not something I wanted to do for the rest of my life…He was
interested in what I was talking about.. He was telling me of his Older Brother getting Killed by some of my set..I felt totally like shit… I could of been involved or know of
someone who was…Honestly I didint, or dont know who he is…But its all the same…Ihate it.. this young boy lost his big brother to either some of my Friends or someone I knew probably…He dont even know.. He just knows it was a G.

I sat down with him for quite a long while, he was talking about getting in the R.V.L. set one of the GD’s rivals here, and I was trying to talk him out of it… I cant honestly say i did but I hope I did.. He seemed touched by what I was talking to him about…afterwords I gave him a big hug and told him I was always here to talk…He wants me to teach him Martial arts to defend himself he’s always wanted to get into Karate but could never afford it,I told him first of all he needed to stay away of from the Gang scene..He was cool w/ that…And we had to work on his disclipline, and so forth… This is the things I loook for putting a positive youth in our society. Now for the Police in our neighborhood here, I cant say they would go that far….If some of them would or do thats great….Most of the Cops I know from Martial Arts and other things, They totally hate Gangbangers. Theyd much lok em up rather than sit down and try to help or talk with them…It sickens me….Most of these kids are looking for mentors, or Father figures cause most of them are raised without a male around, and the only males that are usually around are Gang members, or in Prison..One of my Students is finally going to meet his father for the First time in 10yrs due to him getting out of Prison in 8 days…. Now how is he going to be able to pick up on his Fathers past and Im scared for the young man cause he is hanging with some Latin Kings… He says he isnt joining them but they live next door and he just hangs with
them… I dont know what to do….I just worry…He comes around and spends an awfull lot of time here, watching movies and learning TKD and I try to keep him here more than at his own house…I dont want him to get caught up in a cross fire or what ever…So you ask whos side am I on? My own side!!!!

I’m a Warrior.

“Soldiers fight cause they are ordered to fight.”

“Fighters/Thugs fight to achieve thier selfish desires.”

“WARRIORS FIGHT TO DEFEND AND PROTECT THOSE AGAINST SOLDIERS AND FIGHTERS.”
unknown

Peace, Love, and Happiness..>>T.I.G.<< Read the rest of this entry »

From our article archives this one from G Funk:

to all ya wanna bes g and thugs wanna be down with a gang or try to make ya own gang ya f***ing out of ya minds wake up and smell the cup of coffee this s**t aint tv.

its real ya wanna die for your hood and gang ya f***ing dumb cause i was like ya f***ed up in the mind looking for love and respect cause my family didnt show or give it to me.

think about it when ya get locked up who comes to see u your family your real family not ya gang or when your girl or men gets shot up or jumped wheres your back up? nowhere to see. they just fucking use u for a drive by or a jumping and when ya so called g s and wanna bes get busted your so called homies will tell u tell on us and you’re dead and your f***king family.

i got a home girl who lost her leg by some gang members we got beef with. her brother got hit by his best friend and wheres homeboyz? nowhere. dont go see him or ask hows hes doing. so just f***ing think before u act cause u only have one life to live.

i been out for 2 years and know i am trying to help ya  from not joining or starting a gang cause take it from young its real f***ing hard watching your back 24 7 cause i still do cause i know the gang i got beef with for the past 9 10 years are still trying to kill me so just f***ing wake up G
Funk