In his column this week. Bro Mike takes a look at Sagging Pants:

MEMO: THE RAMEY RULE
BY MIKE RAMEY

I wanted to give a solid ‘shout out’ to those warriors who have volunteered to contend with young men on a regular basis about their sagging pants.  Of course, I am still amazed of the longevity of this rather ‘brief’ matter–but I digress!

I’ve seen some rather interesting battles and discussions between adults and teens about the need for keep pants pulled up to regulation level.  I’ve heard of adults shouting at teens, and teens shouting back at adults over ‘my rights.’  I’ve read a variety of columns about school dress codes and why students–even at the college level–need to ‘adult up’ with proper dressing habits.  As I sat down to pen my column this month, I found the issue raging in my neck of the woods.  Several adults and teens have wound up in trouble with the law over adults laying down the rules and teens rebelling against them–sometimes to the point of exchanging words and punches.

This ought not to be.

IT STARTS AT HOME:

The old adage is true:  If the home will not teach, society can not compensate.

Teens–by nature–are slippery and rebellious.  Many of us who are adults now were teens not that long ago.  I can remember my own times of rebellion–and how my parents responded to them.  Sometimes with a talking to; sometimes with punishment, and sometimes with a firm administration of the board of education to the seat of knowledge.  I–and others–learned a healthy, godly fear of dad and mom.

And all the parents said: AMEN!

Sure, the times ‘may’ be different.  Let’s be honest!  How many of us have come across ‘trifling’ parents? They DO exist and get lots of airplay and ink.  You’ve seen them on TV shows from Judge Judy to Jerry Springer!  Parents who seem to have been ‘frozen’ in their very own rebellious streaks from their adolescent years–with frozen brains to match.

The results are STILL the same if a minority of the parents do NOT teach or when a minority of teens will NOT listen!  The twin brothers of chaos and rebellion rule, firmly replacing opportunities for the direct education and advancement of our children.

Sad.  Just truly S-A-D.

I recall one time during my stint as a probation officer. A female parent came to the juvenile court dressed like a stripper heading for work.  Needless to say, the bailiffs would not let her into court on her child’s case…because of the court’s dress code.

And…we wonder where the children get it from?

STEREOTYPES–AND TRUTH:

Make no mistake about it.  The pants sagging issue–and its attempt at justification–are firmly rooted in rebellion.  Saggers are proud that they ‘sag’–but don’t want to face the consequences of doing it ‘their way’.  Unfortunately, we live in an era where consequences are expected to be ‘brushed’ off to the side without comment from the society at large.  Commit a crime, and have a hundred letters and videos to ‘explain’ your right to harm someone else.  Commit adultery and go off to make your next movie.  Carry a few guns into a sporting venue and get shocked by being suspended from your pro team.

From a biblical perspective, let me ‘clue’ the brotherhood to a reality:  The consequences of rebellion ‘may’ be delayed, but are seldom denied.  God’s judgments may be slow in coming, but pack a punch when they arrive!  In truth, if one does NOT learn the lessons of being a responsible child at home–whether it’s headed by two-parents, one parent, or a loving guardian–you’ll be reduced to being judged as a stereotype by the society at large.

Society–like teenage friends–can be CRUEL in their label placement!

Brothers, if you sag, you fit the stereotype.  Fair is fair; but REAL is REAL!  In most of our world today, stereotypes represent reality.  It’s not ONLY how ‘you are seen’, but how you are ‘perceived’ WHILE you are being seen!  As a father myself from the old school, rest assured that a sagger may not make it to my tree lawn–let alone my porch–if he dares to date my daughter!

THE SOLUTION?  THE RAMEY RULE!

For all you saggers out there who are getting upset at me blasting away with this column, I issue the following invitation.  Call it a ‘public challenge’ to test my writing.  Go to any local company or job fair with your ‘sag wear’ and ask for a job application and/or an interview.  If the people around you don’t move away from you in rapid fashion, you will ‘get the hint’ that your wardrobe is not appropriate from the employers! They will GLADLY find any excuse to have you file your application–by mail!

Here is my solution to the sagging problem.  I call it the ‘Ramey Rule’.  It operates on the simple principle that the best way to get to the ‘heart’ of a sagger is to get him to turn his brain on! Yelling does not work.  Drive-by ‘orders’ from adults to ‘pull up’ one’s pants does not work.  Dress codes and sanctions have limited impact (as sagging has become not only a ‘fashion statement’ but the flag of youth).  How to get their attention?  Change your tactics!  Couple wisdom of economic reality with the truths of stereotyping in the application of the ‘Ramey Rule’ which is spoken as follows:  “The LOWER the pants, the LOWER the IQ is perceived to BE!”

Think about it!  Saggers do NOT work for law firms, Black Enterprise Magazine, IBM, Microsoft, your local school corporation or Beatrice Foods.  Saggers DO work for strip mall mobile phone stores and hip-hop head shops.  Saggers may ‘start out’ with good grades, but slovenly and sloppy will eventually ‘overtake’ their academic progress.  Saggers won’t be able to ask if I want ‘fries with that’, as many fast food chains have a nasty way of dealing with sloppy employees.

Just keep reminding saggers of these future facts, and you will see a gradual rise–at least during daylight hours–of pants back to where they should be.  IF they don’t appreciate your comments, saggers will soon experience the consequences of rebellion.

It’s called ‘Long Term Unemployment’!

RAMEY is the Pastor of The Forward Church, Indianapolis, Indiana. THE MANHOOD LINE appears on fine websites and gracious blogs around the world.  To correspond, email  manhoodline@yahoo.com.  © 2010 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.

A look at the growth of Homegirl Industries in LA…

Ex-gang members part of LAX eatery bid
Daily Breeze

Travelers seeking a taste of local culture may soon be treated with Mexican food, sandwiches and pastries served up by members of a nonprofit gang-intervention group hoping to open shop at Los Angeles International Airport.

Homegirl Cafe, a successful downtown Los Angeles staple since April 2005, is vying for one of the restaurant spots up for bid at LAX. If the bid is successful, the second Homegirl Cafe would provide jobs for former gang members and youths considered to be at risk.

Pastor Mark explains where Jesus is today, how He got there, what He’s doing now, and why that matters to us.

ive been gone for awhile an this has probably been tha first time ive set out to discourage peeps to not bang its just i realized in this time ive been gone tha…
gang life will not get you money power and respect…ganglife will get you killed… a lot of people dont realize tha pain and heartbreak thugs go thru an they figure cuz we bang tha we aint got feelings like we desensitized to death im here to say its not so…death is somethang nobody can cope with if a person you kno has fallen it takes tha ones left behind a lifetime 2 pick themselves up once its all said and done all u got is a blunt to remember ur niggas by ayo 4real why we here y we die i kno im cryin an it seems tha more im tryin to get shit i just wanna ask nebody thas willing to answer, how many of yall after u hear bout or see ur nigga die just go an blaze up pull a 187 an go on livin.

wha kinda lifestyle do u have if ur only rule is kill or be killed?

for all of u wannabes think bout this: do u wanna see ur mother father sister brother & best friends die bcuz you thought you look cool stoned wit a gun?

ill tell u you look fuckin stupid cuz tha world knows you got a death wish and dont have tha fuckin balls to kill urself. Im losin niggas right and left.
One day im afraid ima look back and aint no one left. Im already headin for a hearse, wit a curse, knowin its all bouta end. Then i go out wit no head. bout spend eturnity livin in misery. everybody i know is sheddin tears 4 me. spears in me, fears in me, not knowin when im goin. i dunno if ima even die throwin, gunnin heat, only thang i ever knew was tha street.

i kno where im goin when i die im just sayin yall wannabes tha think gangin is so cool look in tha mirror youll see a fool, i tell u wha a fool is better than a pool of blood. u still got time make ur own way of livin 2 tha fullest thuggin aint gunna get u nowhere wed kno we’ve all been there done tha an paid our dues now its ur time to choose if ur gunna die an go to tha pen or u gunna live witout everyday sin

King Kato

The other piece is to have some direction and be realistic about your job search. Most large companies do background checks so that is something you will have to consider if you have a criminal history. A person cannot expect to land a $100k job as a Manager with a questionable past. You have to be willing to start where you are given the opportunity and show your employer that you can be a good worker, reliable, etc. and work from there. This goes for anybody, not just XYZ. Everybody has to start somewhere.

ME, MYSELF, AND I

Many of you reading this don’t know me, but a lot of you can understand how it was growing up fast and hard in the barrios, the poor sides of town. On the streets of my city I am called Twilight, but my real name is Juan Hernandez. I was born on May 18th, I’m 20 years old.

You know thru out my life I always thought that no one could understand the things I have been thru, or would even care. Until I found this site and read the stories of g’s and o.g’s. So here is my story in hopes that maybe someone reading this will understand that someone does care and that they are not alone.

MY FAMILY

Well I don’t have a really big family, or a close family like some of you out there. Yeah I have a father and a mother just like the rest of you out there. I have a sister and an older brother. Thanks to my dad being this big time player I have like 15 or 16 half brothers and sisters out there somewhere.

MY SO CALLED FATHER

My father….I have a lot to say about that man. As a child me and him were close. I honestly don’t remember though. In my photo album that I have, there are pics of me and him and of happier days, of days I wish I could have again. As I got older me and my dad started drifting apart, mostly cause of his drinking and constant fighting with my mother. He would always end up beating her. There were times I wished I could have kept my dad from hurting my mom, but being a lil kid, I could not do much. As I got older more and more me and my dad drifted apart. His drinking got worse and my mom suffered cause of it. Once I decided enough was enough and I tried to stop my dad from hurting my mom, I’m sure he didn’t mean it cause I could see the regret and the pain in his eyes after he did it but as I tried to stop him from hitting my mom, he hit me instead. The damage was done. From that dad I hated my dad. As I got older more and more me and my dad fought.

When I hit my teens, I started running away. staying away for days. One day I came home thinking everything was cool and me and my dad ended up fighting and he threw me out of the house at the age of 13. On and off I lived on the streets or staying at my friends house. Living on the streets also got me involved with the Surenos in my city. I became one of them. Then one day I came home on mothers day to see my mom and he was beating her again. I was older, I was stronger. I said to myself he would never touch my mom again. Me and him went heads up and he beat my ass but I made sure I got my hits in too. Bleeding and hurt I convinced my mom to get her things and leave with me. That was the last day my so called father hurt my mom. As I got older me and my dad had more encounters and more fights and to this day me and him no longer speak to each other. We just don’t care about each other anymore. What we once had in those pictures seems like it happened a lifetime ago. I am no longer that lil boy anymore, and he is not the dad I use to love and look up to anymore….

MY MOTHER

Me and my mother always had happy times together. Whatever I wanted she would get me. She spoiled me, buying whatever I wanted, taking me wherever I wanted to go. She even played with me and my toys. I love my mother very much. She was a sweet woman, loving and caring, maybe thats why she had a lot of friends. She always got invited to these parties where a girl turns 15 her family has like this big ass party and dance. I know what it is but I can’t spell it, :-p But anyways she always got invited and I don’t know bout now but back then they use to play this song called *Sabor a Mi* for the girl to dance. I would be like sitting at a table all by myself while my mom was talking with her friends, and I would be playing with my lil toy cars and today I still don’t know why but the girl who was having that party would come up and ask me to dance with her. I was like about 7 or 8 but I guess I looked older or something cause it always happened…wonder if my mom had anything to do with that? I have lots of pictures of me dancing and it seems like in every picture me and my mom took with the girls family I looked older and older and I got taller and taller.

Once in a while I play this cd that has that song called *Sabor a Mi* and it reminds me of my mother and those days. I honestly can say it makes me cry cause I miss my mom, I miss my mom taking me to those dances, I miss sitting on her lap, I miss her singing to me when I was scared of the monster under the bed and I would not go to sleep. I would like very much to see my mother again and tell her I love her and how much I miss her. When she got sick I was locked up in county but they let me go see her in the hospital. I remember crying and crying cause they told me she had cancer and there was nothing they could do. Even though I made my peace with her. I wish I could have been there by her side, to tell her I love her when she died. Instead of being locked up…

MY BROTHER AND COUSIN

Well about my brother, now your wondering why I would name this part about my brother and my cousin. Well the reason I named it this is cause they both belong to the same gang. Anyways. Me and my brother like most brothers had a close relationship. As kids we always did what brothers do. We watched out for each other. Lied for each other when we got in trouble. Jumped in for each other if we were in a fight. You know things brothers do. But as we got older we started drifting. He started going out more with his friends and always leaving me behind. More and more is became about his friends than his lil brother. When I got thrown out of the house my brother had got involved with a gang called the Latin Kings. He was just a member just like everyone else was. What I didn’t know was one of my primos was also a King and got him involved. As time went on, we drifted more and more. We didn’t drift cause of personal problems with each other like me and my dad and my sister but we drifted cause of who we chose to run the streets with, he ran with Kings, I ran with Surenos. Any true Sureno and King knows the relationship between the two. I don’t have to explain it.

Anyways. Me and my primo however were close, in fact all my cousins on my mothers side are close with me. They understand how my dad and my sister and his side of the family treats me, they don’t like him ether. They the only family I have. I just wish I could see more of them…. Well back to what I was saying and my cousin were close. As kids me and my brother and him always played together. We even did a *blood brother* thing with each other, thats how close we all were as kids. I could go on and on about all the things we did as kids, about how much I miss those days, how much is hurts to know I can’t go back or change the past…..or how much I wish my primo was alive still. It was a year on June 13th that my primo died, He was shot a few days before but a few days later. He just gave up and let himself die. Thats what I think. Even though we are from different gangs. We both went thru the same street drama. I’m sure like me, he just didn’t want to fight no more, he just let himself go….so he could find his peace….Maybe someday I will find mine. As for my older brother. After my primo died, my brother took over his position in the Kings. He now runs the chapter in my city. From time to time we do talk to each other, but it’s been so long since we talked that you can feel the distance between us. We just don’t know each other anymore.

MY SISTER

Well about my sister. My sister, like with all my siblings, we were close, but like everyone else, we drifted as I got older. My sister has 4 kids, each one of them I call *my babies* cause I raised them on my own. While she was hoeing around I was home taking care of them, changing their diapers, feeding them. I did all that and I still was living on the streets and dealing with street drama. I don’t know how I did it but I did. They good kids now, a’s and b’s in school. Not bad for being a gangster and being a parent at the same time. Now my sister trips saying shit like they should not be around me cause I’m this or I do that. They know though, they know how thier mom use to be.

CYNTHIA AND ROBERT

This is the final piece of my story. I know I wrote a lot about myself and those around me. This last piece is about two people who I love very much. One who was my lady, and the other my best friend. Cynthia was a girl who always stood by my side. Was always there for me. There were times I admit where I put my friends and my drama first before her. Time when I was not there for her when she needed me. Times I made her cry. Thru it all she still stood by my side, any vato out there who has had a lady like that in his life knows what I am talking bout when I say you don’t find many ruca’s out there who will put up with shit like that.

I met her and Robert when I was 14, like me their life at home was not a happy one. It was a year later when I fell in love for the first time in my life. I fell in love with Cynthia. She was my first love, she was my first lover. To this day she was my first, and my last. In life there are prices to pay for everything you do. I mean thats how life is. My price for the life I lived was losing her and later my best friend. One day we were at the park on the other side of town. We were just kicking it. When out of nowhere drama happened. They blasted, we blasted back. It all happend so quickly. After it was all over I saw something that forever to this day haunts my days and my nights.

My lady had been shot. I remember how my legs didn’t want to move. Somehow I crawled over to her and I kept telling myself this aint happening. Having her blood on my hands and shirt changed all that. It was real, it did happen. I don’t know why I did it……but at that time I felt if I held on to her tight enough I could keep her from leaving me. I kept telling her *please, please, please don’t leave me don’t die!* ……..then I felt her leave. A year later Robert overdosed on heroin, a year after that my mother died.

Cynthia was three months pregnant. I had lost everything I loved cause of the road I walked.

CLOSING

Today as I sit here I can’t help but think about everything I been thru. My life has been full of regrets, heartache and sorrow. I have been shot, I have been stabbed but thru it all I STILL stand tall, even though at times this world had me on my knees but I have never given up on making my life better for me and those around me. I am a Veterano now, somehow I survived all this shit. I also recently found steady work. Although I have lots of problems I still managed to get my life straight and find work, even though it’s not ideal. It’s better than dealing with drama and constantly be in fear of my life. I hope things will be better now that I stopped banging. I also hope some day I can find someone to share my life with, someone who can give me consolation for the past, someone to share my dreams of the presents and give me hope for the future

Someday…..

We have had a lot of requests for resources for gang tattoo removal so this was a refreshing story.

Dr. Bryna Kane begins every ERASE THE PAST free clinic with a circle of healing that offers former gang members a second chance at a fresh start by literally erasing their gang-related tattoos with the latest high-tech lasers modern medicine and technology have developed. Former gang members and youth at-risk must agree to complete community service in order to participate in the program. These tattoos often stigmatize these young people and mark them for life, making it difficult or impossible for them to leave the gangs behind, obtain jobs and turn their lives around with gang symbols seared across their faces, hands, arms and bodies. Erase the Past has been going strong for 10 years since it was founded by Dr. Bryna Kane and Dr. Edward Glassberg to help the Long Beach, CA community. The doctors have helped 4,000 former gang members and at-risk youth between the ages of 14 & 25 and have turned painful pasts into fresh starts.

Interview with Dr. Levon Davis, Former Drug Dealer from South Central, Los Angeles and California Youth Authority Inmate. He was incarcerated for murder as a young teenager. Hear his powerful story.

Today’s post was inspired by someone who emailed in for help this past week. This one is for you.

Pittsburgh Post Gazette

Laser Center owner helps troubled youths amend their lives by removing gang tattoos..
Pittsburgh Post Gazette
Many of them are gang-related, including the nine skulls that represent friends who have been killed in “shoot-outs” or died from drug overdoses. …